The last few months has gone by incredibly quickly, you occupy so much of our day that it feels like time somehow mushes together and days turn into weeks, which turn into months so unconsciously.
That, on top of my business collapsing has not be a fun journey, to say the least. I am stressed, I can feel the constant pressure in my brain, as if a small rock is on the top of my head all the time. I had to let go most of my team recently too which unsettled me deeply.
I wish I could focus less on work, but it’s what keeps the lights on after all, and did I mention how much you poop? Nappies aren’t cheap! Luckily I do have some savings which is keeping ourselves afloat for a while, and hopefully I can adapt the business before the year is up to create new income streams.
I finally understand the stresses of being a father in a world where everything costs money, and money typically wants time in return. That said, I have spent a lot of time with you over the last couple of months actually, real quality time.
We recently got back from a trip to the Lake District with my parents and you absolutely loved it. It was your first time on a boat, and your first time putting your tiny little feet in a lake.
You have become a boy, no longer are you the baby that needed my belly for warmth, or the baby that needed nurturing in the middle of the night. You sleep through the night now, and are starting to consume real man food, which excites me but also saddens me that we are moving so swiftly into the next stage of life.
You are even starting to crawl now, even if it does look like a one legged pirate is twerking. You now grab at snacks to taste, you can see Pippin from afar, and you smile every-time me or Kate come into the room.
The bonding issue that we both had has disappeared, I love you more than myself and I balled my eyes out the moment I realised that, it was an overwhelming power of emotion that I really, really needed at that moment in time.
Every other Sunday just me and you go Swimming, not to bond, but to give your mother some rest and so that you can safely swim when you are a little older, as i remember vividly swimming a lot as a child, especially on holidays.
It’s moments like this that give me true peace, and it’s all I want from life. Us as a family, enjoying the passing of time together, that’s all. Kate is thoroughly enjoying you becoming a little boy, and you even nap on her stomach still, which she loves, even if she doesn’t admit it.
With growth, comes energy and boy oh boy, you are a little bundle of curiosity, aren’t you? Grabbing everything you see, pulling anything that looks like it can be broken (mostly Pippin’s tail), crawling into places I didn’t know existed in the house and attempting to say words, even if they sound like farts.
You have your mothers lips and nose too which is adorable. Unfortunately you have my ears and my curiosity which never team up well as an adult, but i’ll let you explore that one.
Thank you for being a lovely, kind little boy and bringing so much sunshine to our families lives recently, I feel like I can take you anywhere and you’ll behave, which goes a long way because you can at times be a real pain in the backside… as experienced on the 10 hour drive up to the Lakes… many that was torture.
I can’t wait to see how you grow over the coming weeks, I think you’ll start growing little teeth soon, so bring on the steak!